I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
