well I can't set my house on fire every night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
