I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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