so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
