addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
