Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
