I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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