i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
