he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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