tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
