Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
