god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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