dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
porn star boner night. come get it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
