you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
