Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
