Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
