can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
