Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
