he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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