Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
