I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize