is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
