She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
