Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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