Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
