the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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