seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
