On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
