I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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