Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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