operation have a gay friend backfired
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
