Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
