Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we made out on top of his cat.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
