Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
