Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
