I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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