singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
