you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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