I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
