it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
