oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she peed on how many people?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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