everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
