But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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