so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
