if i can run in heels then i can drive
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
