can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
