DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
