i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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