He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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