I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
