Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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